When decorum goes out the door, the results can make tempers flare
Oct 05, 2025
Question: Regarding your July 15, 2023, column titled “Irate sellers believe business negotiations should be private between agent and client” on The Mercury News and East Bay Times websites:
That was a great article in The Mercury News about irate sellers. Out of curiosity: Regarding the buyer’s agent who showed up at the sellers’ door with homebuyers in tow to complain about their rejected higher offer in the multiple-offer situation without the seller’s agent present or advisement — isn’t that an ethics violation and possibly contractual interference?
Answer: It is an ethics violation. According to the attorney in charge of professional standards at the California Association of Realtors (C.A.R.), the behavior violated Article 16 of our 113-year-old National Association of Realtors’ code of ethics:
• Standard of Practice 16-13
• “All dealings concerning property exclusively listed, or with buyers/tenants who are subject to an exclusive agreement shall be carried on with the client’s representative or broker, and not with the client, except with the consent of the client’s representative or broker or except where such dealings are initiated by the client.”
In addition, a real estate attorney with the C.A.R. proclaimed the concept of “Intentional interference with an economic relationship” did not apply, and she added, “It also is hard to prove in court.”
Decorum, taught to new licensees, was the gold standard decades ago. It shows. In its place nationwide, licensees in new-agent orientations receive instructions on technology.
Immense pressure upon the buyer’s agent can have adverse consequences. Homebuyers expect their buyer’s agent to ratify the purchase offer. It can be a false narrative — the homebuyer’s price, terms and conditions in a purchase offer can be unacceptable. Full stop. Home sellers and their agents providing a written or oral counteroffer is optional.
Conversely, home sellers can and do ratify acceptable purchase offers upon presentation. The defeated, competing buyer’s agent can occasionally become angry and behave unprofessionally.
The communication leading up to a multiple-offer situation is critical. Full stop. The homebuyers and their agents are trying to ascertain the competition. The seller’s agent, aka listing agent, must supervise multiple-offer situations in real time. Tempers can still flare when a seller’s agent with a deft skill set facilitates the multiple-offer process flawlessly.
Transparency is the key. The buyer’s agent or homebuyer who feels snubbed can complain to the supervising manager of the seller’s agent. If homebuyers and their agents recognize unethical behavior, they could complain to the local Association of Realtors. They should file a complaint with The Department of Real Estate (https://www.dre.ca.gov/Consumers/FileComplaint.html) if illegal practices are suspected. Financially harmed homebuyers will consult a real estate attorney. Transparent decorum by a seller’s agent can’t stop complaints. It can only render them moot.
For Housing Market Data in your area, visit my webpage for trends here. Do you have questions about home buying or selling? Full-service Realtor Pat Kapowich is a Certified Trust and Probate Specialist, Certified Real Estate Brokerage Manager and career-long consumer protection advocate. He is based in his hometown of Sunnyvale, California. Office: 408-245-7700; Broker# 00979413 [email protected]
